The Fat Kid Starts to Lose Weight!!!

This me. Photo taken January 15, 2013

As the title of my blog shows, yeah I am by all standards of the modern world fat. I've been the fat kid next door since I was born. And no I am not ashamed of being fat. In fact I've gotten used to being fat. Always asking for the largest size whenever I shop for clothes. Almost occupying two seats of a three seater on a bus. Eating as much as I want without people staring at me. So yeah. I'm comfortable with who I am.

So why the sudden change? Let me give you first a quick background of how I live my life. I LOVE TO EAT. My family is one who cannot tolerate bad food. So yes for me all the food we cook in our home everyday is delicious. And I am a smoker. I smoke a pack of cigarettes everyday since i was 17. I'm not ashamed of being a smoker. And the best of all I am an iced tea addict since I was in elementary school. I used to drink about 2 to 3 liters of iced tea everyday. And there are days I do not even drink water. Just lots and lots and lots of iced tea. That's how I lived my life for the past 23 years. Now I'm trying to change my ways.

Everyone has a turning point in their lives. Be it a life changing accident, a death of a loved one or maybe a death of love itself. And my turning point for change isn't the time me and my ex girlfriend broke up. But my turning point was when she had found new love with someone else.

January 2013. The new year just rolled around the corner. And I had the worst news of my life. I just found out my ex now has a new boyfriend. I don't want to go into the details so that's that. But it made me think. Was I not good enough? Did I not look good enough? So there I was. In a severe state of depression. I got to do something about myself. And I needed a distraction. So I enrolled in a gym. To prove to her and to all others that I look good. Period. So that's it. That WAS my motivation in life. I HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. I HAVE TO LOOK GREAT. I have to LOOK BETTER than her boyfriend. It's sounds stupid I know. But that's the hard truth. So I started getting fit. I was a whopping 270 lbs on my first weigh-in at the gym. And just like any fat ass on their first day in the gym I SUCKED. I sucked in the treadmill. I sucked doing weights. I'm so tired on the first day that I didn't want to go back. But I did go back. Because I had something to prove.

Days went by. Still had to prove that something to her. I went back to the gym time and again. And I actually started to lose weight. On my first two months in the gym I lost about 20 lbs. But as the days went by, I lost sight of why I came there in the first place. I actually forgotten that I had something to prove. And so with my old motivation gone, I'm just a clueless ass in the gym. But hey I felt GREAT!!! I started to wear my old clothes that didn't fit me before. I can actually run longer and faster! I can lift heavier weights! So I said to myself. To hell with my old motivation. She won't come back to me anymore anyway. I made a permanent mark in my mind. DO THIS FOR YOURSELF AND NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE. Yeah the praises I got that I look better is a bonus. But what matters most is that I FELT GREAT!!! I haven't felt like this in years. In fact I NEVER FELT LIKE THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE. From that day on I lost weight for my health and general well being. Yeah it sounds cheesy and corny. And again. That is my truth. So I started this online journal to keep track of what I feel during my weight loss. I'm now at 220 lbs and losing more. And if you ask how I feel now about my ex? We're friends. I lost all the hate I had for her. And I hope she feels the same way too. Because living healthy starts within. So I got rid of all the hate I have inside me. I don't just want to be physically fit but also I want to be mentally and emotionally as well.

The lesson here is you find new goals and motivations everyday. Your first motivation may not be good but as you go along with life you discover yourself and actually uncover the right reasons for the way you live your life.